Sunday, December 10, 2006

Improving International Relations

Gotta love the Americans. New York is the centre of the known universe, naturally.

Some New Yorkers checked in this morning while I was sat in the reception area using the laptop. It's easier on the low sofas there to keep my leg straight - the tattoo aches, and an
ything I can do at this point to make it hurt a little less is welcome.

There are a few things that really irritate me. One of them is being talked about as though I'm not in the same room. Phrases like "isn't he cute", "he's just like Hugh Grant" and "where can we get some
proper food" only result in the raising of heckles and gritted teeth on my part while retaining that British tradition of remaining polite at all costs.

Let me explain something here. The resemblence between myself and Hugh Grant ends at my country of origin. I'm from Yorkshire, don't stutter, have never starred in a romantic comedy, or any film for that matter, don't have several million in the bank, have never had the pleasure of getting it on with Liz Hurley, or the inevitable breakup with aforementioned model after getting caught with my pants down parked on Hollywood Boulevard with a prostitute called Divine Brown.




Moreover, proper food in Hong Kong, would suggest, at an outside guess, perhaps Cantonese, or any other Asian cuisine perhaps (Taiwanese and Japanese restaurants are common). I'm pretty sure anyone reading this will know what these gargantuan ladies were referring to though.
Proper food is indicative of anything with over 30oz of pure thoroughbred cow and a bucket of chips, or possibly even maybe your usual chain stuff. Lard Hut, Offel King, McCholesterol, et al. I duly with best british smile, kept thoughts of unquestionable cruel torture behind my glazed eyes and gave them directions to the Outback, taking them at least 3/4 mile round the long way. Lets face it, they could use the exercise. Cute indeed...

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmfao! poor roachy! you have no resemblance whatsoever to hugh grant babe! but the photo you have put on of yourself really does not do you justice!!! do me a favour, if you cannot manage to avoid these awful people,please be at least half honest and throw british steadfast politeness to the wind and TELL that you find it OFFENSIVE to be spoken about as if you werent there! enjoying youre posts immensely! xxxx kirst

4:47 pm  
Blogger Roachy said...

Cheers honey. The photo was intended as a parody and bears to relation to characters fictional or otherwise.....honest guvnor. Anyway, after a night on the lash more than 3 sheets to the wind. Possibly 6 so gonna get some shut eye! :-)

10:45 pm  

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